That picture really sums up everything you need to know about me. Okay, well not everything, but a hardy chunk of my persona can easily be summed up with an oversized wine glass filled with an entire bottle of wine.

Why does this feel like I’m a 20-something, desperately trying to find words to fit into a 250-word-count “About Me” section for Match.com?

Hi, I’m Misty. I’m in my thirties and I like warm towels from the dryer and Pinot Grigio. I wear leggings AND jeans (whaaaaaat?). My smartphone is an addiction. I will fight tooth and nail with you on the Internet but if you confront me in public, I’ll probably freak out. I don’t know how to do my nails but I can do a fierce eyeliner. My laptop is covered in stickers ranging from Final Fantasy videos games to Doctor Who to Beatles quotes. I hate children’s music but I still love to color. I am not ashamed to admit I have far more decorative wooden signs containing sarcastic sayings that anyone should own. I have been told I tailgate people, but I swear I don’t.

I’m a widow, a mother of twins (and more!), a decent cook, a geek, an activist, and a shitty writer.

If any of that speaks to you then you’re still likely to find a reason to dislike something I have to say.