Did you know I’m an adult? I didn’t.

I had a bowl of leftover boxed stuffing for breakfast today. Yes, you read that correctly—leftover boxed stuffing. I didn’t even have the decency to make a fresh box of it.

A little while later, I plopped myself onto the couch and fired up a LEGO video game on my XBOX One. I had a few more gold bricks I needed to collect to get to 100% completion.

Lunch rolled around and I made knock-off lunch-able plates. I literally put grapes, cheese, pepperoni, and crackers on plates and called it a day.

After lunch, I played some old school hip-hop and danced like a lunatic for about an hour.

I sat and watched a new cartoon on Nickelodeon that I had been anxiously waiting for before dinner—the previews looked really good.

All in all, I’d say it was a really good day…. for someone who is 12 years old.


Oh, by the way, did I mention I’m responsible for the LITERAL LIVES OF THREE HUMAN BEINGS?!

Yep. Today, and every other day since 2011, I have had been the main human being who was given 100% responsibility of three very small, very needy other human beings. Did you know that when you give birth to a baby (who by all accounts is made of glass and probably should have an entire team of caretakers) they just hand them to you and say, “Good luck!” All while gently, but firmly, kicking you right the hell out the door? Then they do it again when you have more babies, because, somehow, they haven’t managed to figure out that you are totally not old enough or mature enough to be a parent are-you-kidding-me-right-now.

Now, go and reread that first part about my day and imagine me surrounded by tiny humans that I am required by law to care for—don’t worry, I’ll wait.

And no, I am the one who wanted to watch that new cartoon—they wanted Paw Patrol but I am so done with those talking dogs and that horrible Mayor from one town over (why is he even still a Mayor he’s a literal CRIMINAL).

Sound like a responsible, mature parent to you? Possibly not. Okay, hang on, let me adjust it.


I had a high-carb breakfast first thing this morning to help boost my energy and get me ready for the day.

A little while later, I had some much-needed self-care time in the living room while using my problem-solving skills to complete a task.

Lunch rolled around and I made a charcuterie board to give me some of my daily fruit intake and amp up my vitamins.

After lunch, I vigorously exercised for an hour.

I was able to catch the pilot of a new television show I have been looking forward to as well- the previews were very intriguing.

All in all, I’d say it was a really good day.


Same day, different wording. I’d imagine if someone read that as a post on Instagram (probably with a photo of a smoothie bowl or sunset) they’d think, “Well, damn, that woman has it all together. She is a responsible person for sure!”

The thing is, I am responsible. Yes, I eat leftover stuffing and play video games. But what you don’t hear about from me, and many other Moms, are the little things. How this morning when I made myself the stuffing, I made the kids homemade waffles. When I sat down to play the video game, it’s because all three kids asked me to do it—they love to watch me play and help find the bricks. The knock-off lunch-ables? They ate every single bite and LOVED it. Dancing to old school hip-hop is they’re favorite thing to do in the afternoons. I will give you that last one… they really did want to watch Paw Patrol but I literally cannot take another second of that terrible nonsense.

And in between all of those things I cleaned the house, did the dishes, washed the laundry, change diapers (and worked on potty training), brushed hair, brushed teeth, fed the cats, changed the litter, took out the trash, and paid the bills.

So, okay, I’m a bit childish. I like video games and dancing in my underwear (oh, did I forget to mention dance time sometimes means underwear time? Sorry, mailman who spotted us through the doorway window…) but I also can take care of myself and three kids like it’s no big deal. I do it today, I did it yesterday, and I’ll do it tomorrow.

However, tomorrow I’ll probably wear boxers and play LEGO Marvel instead of LEGO Star Wars.


Generic VS Name Brand (This isn’t bullshit, I swear)

So, I have no life. Because I have no life, I spend a lot of time thinking about things that aren’t that important.


(Aren’t you lucky?)


Today’s Installment: Generic VS Name Brand 


I am a frugal person by nature– I like really nice things, but I have a really hard time justifying paying full-price for any of them. I just got back into couponing because I can’t be bothered to pay full-price for butter and bread. I’m like that.


I also always buy generic or mega-cheap name brand products because they’re all the same, right?




There are just some products I don’t screw around with– annnnd here they are:


Bounty Paper Towels: I have NEVER found a better paper towel (and yes, I’ve tried Kirkland. I am addicted to Costco). They are also the #1 Paper Towel used in tattoo studios because they produce the least amount of dust.


Dawn Dishsoap (Original Blue): This stuff, you guys– this stuff is AMAZING. I use it for dishes, counters, grease on chef jackets… just, listen, they literally use it to clean off dying oil-covered wildlife. I’m going to stick with the No-longer-covered-in-oil-slick-ducks on this one.


Mr. Clean Magic Erasers: A few months back I went insane and bought a 100-pack of Melamine Foam on Amazon for $10. That’s what the internet said Mr. Clean Erasers were made from, so it’ll work the exact same. WRONG. LIES. FAIL. They disintegrated within seconds of putting any pressure whatsoever. Don’t fuck with these– just trust the bald guy. Anyone who can rock a solid gold hoop earring on only one earlobe is my kind of man.


-Glad Trashbags: Once I was with someone who told me that I could compare the thickness of trashbags in the store (did you know they put the thickness right on the boxes?) and that generics are “just as thick so they work the same” THIS IS BULLSHIT AND THEY WERE WRONG. Glad trashbags OWN– and, in particular, the stretchy ones. Don’t screw with this. You do not want to be halfway to the trashcan outside and have your bag rip open and spill dirty diapers and shit-filled cat litter all over your floor and shoe-less feet (I may, or may not, speak from experience).


Ziplock Sandwich Baggies (or any baggy): I don’t even need to explain this. Generic sandwich baggies are bullshit– they are thin and the zippers are SHIT. Just don’t bother.




There you go. My useless thought today. I hope it helps you the next time you shop. Hey, by the way, there’s a coupon for Dawn in the circular today!